Yesterday, a friend forwarded a promotion to me from a coach we both knew. The cost of this coach’s program was in the thousands of dollars; a far higher price than I’ve ever considered charging.
But it wasn’t just what this coach was charging. Hearing the coach’s name, I’ll call her “Iris” brought up all kinds of feelings and memories for me. None of the them good ones.
Filed under Getting Out of My Own Way
No one enjoys rejection but I seem to go out of my way to avoid rejection.
I didn’t always see myself this way. I used to see myself as more in the middle when it came to handling situations in which rejection was likely. I’ve experienced quite a bit of rejection and I’ve always been able to bounce back.
But in retrospect I’m not sure I’ve bounced back. I think what I’ve really been doing is using some old coping tricks which work to a degree but have also kept me stuck and, in a way, imprisoned.
Which naturally raises the question, why would anyone willingly keep themselves in imprisoned?
Filed under Enneagram Type 4, Getting Out of My Own Way
Last week I didn’t write much because I had The Cold from Hell. My son, who gave it to me, kept assuring me that it wouldn’t last long. He was right but those were three days of pure misery, I went through 4 boxes of Kleenexes and a small bottle of ibuprofen.
It feels so good to breath through my nose again!
I’m going to look at ways I can trip myself up as an Enneagram 4.
Filed under Enneagram Type 4, Getting Out of My Own Way
One thing that has emerged for me is how important it is for me to appreciate my own gifts.
It seems that I have been in this weird space of desiring recognition from others in order to feel what I do best is somehow legitimatized.
But I’ve taken the “marketplace” acceptance piece too far. I think I’m so skeptical of my own value that I’ve placed the burden on outside recognition and that doesn’t work.
Today I’m exploring how to change this so that I am my own best champion.
Filed under Enneagram Type 4
Most of us have some kind of bête noire that seems hang over us during at least some point in our lives. Enneagram Type 4’s tend towards what I call “The Doom Loop of Longing for Love but Never Good Enough to Have It.”
I’m exaggerating my language a little to keep this light. When I talk about shortcomings I can get heavy very quickly.
Filed under Enneagram Type 4
This week I’m focusing on using self-observation to more clearly see where I tend to self-sabotage and get in my own way.
To begin, however, I want to write about the natural strengths persons who are Enneagram type 4s. My reason is so often I dwell on what I’m struggling with and it can begin feeling pretty heavy after a while. It feels like a good idea to begin with looking at what’s right.
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Filed under Appreciation, Enneagram Type 4, Work and Joy
