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'plugins'; // set to 1 to do garbage collection during normal process shutdown instead of wp-cron $wp_cache_shutdown_gc = 0; $wp_super_cache_late_init = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager // uncomment the next line to enable advanced debugging features $wp_super_cache_advanced_debug = 0; $wp_super_cache_front_page_text = ''; $wp_super_cache_front_page_clear = 0; $wp_super_cache_front_page_check = 0; $wp_super_cache_front_page_notification = '0'; $wp_cache_object_cache = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_anon_only = 0; $wp_supercache_cache_list = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_debug_to_file = 0; $wp_super_cache_debug = 0; $wp_cache_debug_level = 5; $wp_cache_debug_ip = ''; $wp_cache_debug_log = ''; $wp_cache_debug_email = ''; $wp_cache_pages[ "search" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "feed" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "category" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "home" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "frontpage" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "tag" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "archives" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "pages" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "single" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "author" ] = 0; $wp_cache_hide_donation = 0; $wp_cache_not_logged_in = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_clear_on_post_edit = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_hello_world = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_mobile_enabled = 1; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_cron_check = 1; //Added by WP-Cache Manager ?> Appreciation – The Big Joy Project http://www.bigjoyproject.com Ideas and inspiration for living a joy-filled life Wed, 22 Jun 2016 19:10:48 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 https://i0.wp.com/www.bigjoyproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/BigJoy2-547dfc06_site_icon.png?fit=32%2C32 Appreciation – The Big Joy Project http://www.bigjoyproject.com 32 32 43270858 Beating the Numbers Game http://www.bigjoyproject.com/beating-the-numbers-game/ http://www.bigjoyproject.com/beating-the-numbers-game/#respond Wed, 22 Jun 2016 19:10:48 +0000 http://www.bigjoyproject.com/?p=958 Continue reading →]]> whichbutton

There are real people behind the numbers.

 

From time-to-time, an acquaintance emails me with a request, the gist of which goes like this:

I’m working on a big, cool project and I need your help to get the word out.

Please tell your friends, colleagues, etc to check out my big, cool, project at www.bigcoolprojectx.com.

This is the “friends and family” version of numbers game; the idea that if I “employ” enough friends and family to get the word out, even a small percentage of takers will be enough to produce the sales I want.

It makes sense but when I get these kinds of requests, I’m actually a lot less inclined to help.

 

This is reason so many businesses want your email address. An email address puts you in the marketing funnel and you are now a “prospect.”

The problem I have with the whole numbers game is it inserts a layer of abstraction in human relationships and actually damages trust and likeability…two factors that are critical when it comes to cultivating quality customers.

The numbers game is especially damaging when:

  • the business only communicates when they want something
  • they don’t acknowledge the human relationship in any way

I think the first point is pretty self-explanatory. We all know people who only get in touch with us when they need money, need a favor, etc. In the days before the internet, we often referred to people like this as “users.”

“Acknowledging the human relationship” is when someone tells you why they value their relationship with you. It’s when you see the real human beings attached to those numbers.

It’s best when the acknowledgement is personal and specific, “You asked some thought-provoking questions during the presentation I gave last month. You helped me realize how much better presentations are when I engage my audience.”

And when you make it a priority to acknowledge when someone makes the effort to reach out. It takes energy to write an email or review. It means the person reaching out is engaged with you and your organization. It’s so simply to write a quick, sincere “thanks for the review you wrote.” And so few people take the time to do so.

The numbers game is very seductive because it holds out the promise of a return on your investment of effort. But when you fail to acknowledge the human beings behind those numbers, you may actually be damaging your relationships with potential advocates.

I actually enjoy getting the word out for people and businesses I care about…but only when I trust they see my ME. If I’m just an email address on a list, I don’t do anything on their behalf.

People become customers and advocates. Numbers do not.

###

 

]]> http://www.bigjoyproject.com/beating-the-numbers-game/feed/ 0 958 Quote: Weeds http://www.bigjoyproject.com/quote-weeds/ http://www.bigjoyproject.com/quote-weeds/#respond Sun, 23 Aug 2015 21:48:08 +0000 http://www.bigjoyproject.com/?p=921 [Quotes - Purpose] 08.23.15

This quote in the 09-15 O Magazine appealed to my sense of creativity and possibility.

]]> http://www.bigjoyproject.com/quote-weeds/feed/ 0 921 The Power in Receptivity http://www.bigjoyproject.com/the-power-in-receptivity/ http://www.bigjoyproject.com/the-power-in-receptivity/#respond Wed, 15 Apr 2015 18:28:52 +0000 http://www.bigjoyproject.com/?p=880 Continue reading →]]> 250px-Yin_and_Yang.svg

Up until recently I wasn’t very aware of how some people have energy that is very outward focused while others have energy that is inward focused. Then last week I had coffee with a friend and I noticed how, when she met someone, she would ask questions to learn more about that person. As the person answered, I occasionally made a comment or asked a question but I felt content to let my friend lead the discussion.

As I observed this pattern, I was struck by the differences in our energy. My friend’s energy was very outer focused and initiating while my energy felt more receptive and passive.

That my energy is passive and receptive isn’t a big surprise. As an introvert, I’ve always been more comfortable in this role. I prefer going deep and exploring inner landscapes.

I’ve had a hard time accepting my introversion and passivity because in business, passivity is a quality that is seen as a character defect that is worse than dishonesty … even social pathology. I worked with people who were considered “stars” and were diagnosed as bi-polar. They could scream, rant, and throw things, but were tolerated because they “got results.”

But I’ve become curious about my energy because I happen to believe each of us is here for a reason and to contribute in some way. This seems supported by many ancient teachings such as Yin and Yang which describes two opposite and complementary forces. The two forces together comprise a whole.

So in our culture which seems very Yang oriented; that male-oriented, “get out there and make things happen” way of holding things that Yin which is the inward, feminine, and yes, passive, energy would be desirable at some level, in fact, needed for healing and wholeness.

So I’m now very curious about Yin energy which seems to be my dominant energy and how I can honor it and contribute from this space. This is something I want to explore more.

]]> http://www.bigjoyproject.com/the-power-in-receptivity/feed/ 0 880 Day 1: Taking the Struggle Out of Life http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-1-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life/ http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-1-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life/#respond Tue, 20 Jan 2015 17:38:08 +0000 http://www.bigjoyproject.com/?p=752 Continue reading →]]> JudywRainbow

This week I’m focusing on using self-observation to more clearly see where I tend to self-sabotage and get in my own way.

To begin, however, I want to write about the natural strengths persons who are Enneagram type 4s. My reason is so often I dwell on what I’m struggling with and it can begin feeling pretty heavy after a while. It feels like a good idea to begin with looking at what’s right.

The Gifts of Enneagram Type 4s

I’ve slightly paraphrased these from The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge by Beatrice Chestnut.

The natural strengths of Type Fours include:

  • We have a large capacity for emotional sensitivity and depth.
  • Our ability to sense what is going on between people on the emotional level.
  • We have a natural feel for aesthetics and creativity. Although it would be wrong to think that all Fours are artists or all artists are Fours, we do have an artistic impulse that enables us to see and respond to the poetry in life, and to highlight for others the way everyday experiences can be viewed and communicated in creative and even transcendent ways.
  • An idealistic and romantic sensibility.
  • We are relatively unafraid of intense feelings, (and we) value the expression of authentic emotion.
  • We can support others with great care, respect, and sensitivity when they are experiencing painful emotions. Our regular contact with our own emotional terrain gives us a lot of comfort and strength in being with intense feelings and empowering others to feel and accept their emotions.
  • We are highly empathic and can see the beauty and power in painful feelings that (most people) other types habitually avoid.
  • The “superpower” is that we are naturally emotionally intuitive.

The key phrases that pop out for me are:

  • Comfort level with our own emotions and those of others.
  • Respect, even a love for authentic emotions.
  • Empathy and intuition for other people’s emotional experiences.
  • A love for aesthetics: for beauty.
  • Communicating experience in creative even transcendent ways.

What is interesting for me is how reluctant I’ve been to own these gifts and by not accepting my gifts, I’ve created a lot of struggle and difficulties for myself.

So I think if I were to accomplish only one thing in the next 30-days it will be to begin to genuinely feel appreciation for these gifts. I’ve spent so many years complaining about how no one appreciates my gifts and I can’t make money doing what I love but how can I expect anyone else to appreciate what I offer if I, myself, am so convinced that I bring to the table isn’t all that useful?

This isn’t about bragging or being arrogant by the way. It’s about gratitude and appreciation and love. It’s about “being” not “telling.”

I’m going to spend some time today, playing with possibilities for cultivating appreciation in ways that are fun and creative.

]]> http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-1-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life/feed/ 0 752 Day 7: Kicking the Online Shopping Habit http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-7-kicking-the-online-shopping-habit/ http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-7-kicking-the-online-shopping-habit/#respond Sun, 16 Nov 2014 22:57:20 +0000 http://www.bigjoyproject.com/?p=623 Be the Change You Want to See in the World

Be the Change You Want to See in the World

One week anniversary. Hooha!

I’m going to use some of this found time to declutter.

]]> http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-7-kicking-the-online-shopping-habit/feed/ 0 623