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'plugins'; // set to 1 to do garbage collection during normal process shutdown instead of wp-cron $wp_cache_shutdown_gc = 0; $wp_super_cache_late_init = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager // uncomment the next line to enable advanced debugging features $wp_super_cache_advanced_debug = 0; $wp_super_cache_front_page_text = ''; $wp_super_cache_front_page_clear = 0; $wp_super_cache_front_page_check = 0; $wp_super_cache_front_page_notification = '0'; $wp_cache_object_cache = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_anon_only = 0; $wp_supercache_cache_list = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_debug_to_file = 0; $wp_super_cache_debug = 0; $wp_cache_debug_level = 5; $wp_cache_debug_ip = ''; $wp_cache_debug_log = ''; $wp_cache_debug_email = ''; $wp_cache_pages[ "search" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "feed" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "category" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "home" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "frontpage" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "tag" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "archives" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "pages" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "single" ] = 0; $wp_cache_pages[ "author" ] = 0; $wp_cache_hide_donation = 0; $wp_cache_not_logged_in = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_clear_on_post_edit = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_hello_world = 0; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_mobile_enabled = 1; //Added by WP-Cache Manager $wp_cache_cron_check = 1; //Added by WP-Cache Manager ?> Lightness – The Big Joy Project http://www.bigjoyproject.com Ideas and inspiration for living a joy-filled life Tue, 03 Feb 2015 17:58:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 https://i0.wp.com/www.bigjoyproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/BigJoy2-547dfc06_site_icon.png?fit=32%2C32 Lightness – The Big Joy Project http://www.bigjoyproject.com 32 32 43270858 Day 15: Taking the Struggle Out of Life – Asking “What’s Right About This?” http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-15-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life-asking-whats-right-about-this/ http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-15-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life-asking-whats-right-about-this/#respond Tue, 03 Feb 2015 17:58:42 +0000 http://www.bigjoyproject.com/?p=788 Continue reading →]]> http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photo-optimist-pessimist-cartoon-illustration-two-people-looking-glass-half-full-half-empty-image38753585

I have been in the habit of seeing what’s wrong about any situation, idea, thing, etc. for most of my life.

Why? I think there was a time when it was a “squeaky wheel gets the grease” strategy. Unhappy, misbehaving kids tend to get more attention than happy, obedient children.

And apparently, Enneagram 4’s tend to focus in on what’s wrong or missing. We’re more likely to be hard wired to “hope for the best but expect the worst.” If there was ever a recipe for a life of disappointment and regret, that’s it in a nutshell.

So what can I do to create a habit of seeing what’s right?

Here is what I’m doing:

I ask myself “what’s right about this situation?”

Then I think of as many things as I can that are positive. It doesn’t matter how small those things are.  For example, last night we were having problems with our Internet connection and couldn’t figure out what was going on.

Usually I relax in the evening by watching something on Netflix. My husband often joins me and I look forward to this time with him.

It would have been easy for me to have gone into an emotional tailspin about not having the Internet. I can really freak out over things like that.

Instead I asked myself, “What’s right about this?” I thought of all the things that were positive. For example:

  • I had two movies I could watch on my iPhone.
  • I had a good book to read.
  • I could put on my leopard print flannel pajamas and read.
  • We had electricity which meant we had heat and on a cold winter night, a warm house is wonderful.
  • Electricity also meant I could easily read my book.
  • I could pop some microwave popcorn which is my favorite snack and eat it while I watch one of the movies.
  • I could even read in bed!
  • I couldn’t do any work really, so I could let my son use my computer so he could edit a video he created for a class.
  • I got to bed at a reasonable hour (I often end up staying up late watching shows on Netflix).
  • I didn’t have a glass of wine with dinner or eat junk food (again I want to cut back on alcohol and junk food).

So it ended up being a great night instead of one filled with trauma and drama.

Continuing to Check in with Myself Emotionally

I can go through an entire day feeling vaguely anxious and depressed without even realizing that’s what I’m feeling.

My intention is to check in on an hourly basis and take an emotional temperature reading. And if I’m feeling those low level emotions, to ask “what am I thinking?” “what’s really going on below?” This is because so often my vague emotions are the public face of a deeper sadness or fear and by looking at the underlying emotions, I can heal and let go.

]]> http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-15-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life-asking-whats-right-about-this/feed/ 0 788 Day 14: Taking the Struggle Out of Life – Ideas for Self-Appreciation http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-14-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life-ideas-for-self-appreciation/ http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-14-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life-ideas-for-self-appreciation/#respond Mon, 02 Feb 2015 18:35:44 +0000 http://www.bigjoyproject.com/?p=784 Continue reading →]]> monsters and cupcakes

I asked my coach, Lynn Ellis, to share some creative ideas for appreciating my strengths as an Enneagram 4.

Here are a few of my favorites:

  • Start your day with an affirmation – for example, “Let me explore today’s possibilities”.
  • Think of all the little things that bring you pleasure.
  • Make a list of all things you like about yourself.
  • Contemplate the idea of suffering. Is it noble in some way? What if you didn’t have to suffer on your way to feeling good?
  • Observe others’ behavior without making any interpretations. For example, when you observe someone frowning, instead of interpreting the behavior to mean he or she is frustrated, angry, or sad – just notice and accept that he or she has a frown on her face. You might even ask – what is causing you to frown?
  • Ground yourself every day by taking a walk and while you do, keep your mind completely clear; simply walk, being in the moment and noticing everything around you.
  • Try a new activity you’ve wanted to do but didn’t have the time or nerve to experience.

And these are some ideas that I had after reading Lynn’s

  • Make a list of things I’ve always wanted to do and do one of those activities every week.
  • Keep a running list of things that inspire me (which was one of the intentions behind this blog!)
]]> http://www.bigjoyproject.com/day-14-taking-the-struggle-out-of-life-ideas-for-self-appreciation/feed/ 0 784