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In The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, the author, Marie Kondo, advises that we follow two rules when we are deciding what to keep and what to discard:

  1. Discard by category: Collect everything in a particular category and put them in one place (for example, all my coffee mugs)
  2. Criteria for deciding what to keep: For item in the category, handle it and ask, “does this spark joy?” Only keep the things that spark joy.

My initial reaction was a feeling of relief and excitement. I felt these two simple rules would finally get me off my proverbial “should I or shouldn’t I?” fence when it came to trying to decide whether or not to keep stuff.

But then the doubt monsters crept in.

This is pretty typical for me. I’ll get caught up in the excitement of a new project and as the novelty wears off, the fears that were temporarily at bay begin creeping back in. Some of the scary thoughts I’m having are:

  • What if I discover nothing sparks joy?! I’m especially worried about this being true for my clothes and shoes.
  • What if I don’t end up with any necessities? What if I hate all my dishes and have to buy new ones?
  • What if I can’t find anything to replace what I discarded because I can’t find anything new that sparks joy?
  • What if I throw something out and then end up needing it? For example, I throw out my black business suit and then get called in to do a presentation?

I could go on but I would just be doing variations on the theme of “I don’t trust that I will have what I need and love.”

Case in point, many years ago I had a black suit that I loved madly. It made me look chic and skinny and smart. But over time it didn’t fit quite as well…even after having it altered. I’ve looked high and low for a replacement but have yet to find another suit that is as flattering.

So I hang onto the original suit like some kind of talisman. I think once I find a replacement I will retire the original.

My friends who are into the Law of Attraction will tell me “You need to let go of that suit so you have room in your life for a replacement.” And part of me believes them. But another part of me clutches the suit the way a four-year old will clutch their tattered “blanky” saying, “huh uh, no way.”

I’m not saying I won’t get on with it. I will get on with it. But I am saying there are some good reasons why I am not moving forward with the determination I felt when I wrote last week’s post. And what can I do other than call out my monsters and see them for what they really are?

I got the phrase “calling out your monsters” from my friend, Kelli Conci. I love the phrase because so often I’ll just try to ignore those illogical, crazy sounding fears. The problem with that strategy is when I don’t see those monsters, they lurk in the shadows and I imagine them getting bigger and more fearsome until it feels like I’m carrying the equivalent of Cthulhu, Godzilla, and Freddy Krueger and they’re just waiting for me to let down my guard so they can annihilate me.

When I articulate my fears as I’m doing now I often find they’re not nearly as big and terrifying as I imagine them to be. And if, in my worst case scenario, it turns out Ms. Kondo’s advice doesn’t fit for me, at least I know and can try something else.

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